I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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