dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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