BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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