if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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