Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
