I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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