U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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