We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
