am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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