stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
