i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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