We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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