had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
