At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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