Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
