i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
grandma shit on top of the toilet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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