Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
