He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
