Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

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  (218): If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me http://tfl.nu/kwsp
  Replies (9) Good night (7597) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.

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  (641): is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink. http://tfl.nu/upl9
  Replies (29) Good night (4827) Bad night (1562)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.

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  (515): Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/28bg
  Replies (18) Good night (6668) Bad night (955)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She swung at the pinata with crutches

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  (440): She swung at the pinata with crutches http://tfl.nu/dkgf
  Replies (4) Good night (1851) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".

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  (330): I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry". http://tfl.nu/b71c
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?

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  (732): A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me? http://tfl.nu/nk2r
  Replies (11) Good night (2549) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Thats a chance were just gonna have to take

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  (978): I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina. (978): Thats a chance were just gonna have to take http://tfl.nu/hpgd
  Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him

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  (308): I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him http://tfl.nu/5d11
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction

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  (715): It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction http://tfl.nu/kbcm
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2939) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.

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  (916): Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities. http://tfl.nu/3rzs
  Replies (4) Good night (1513) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car

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  (563): Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/64c7
  Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."

  (404): View more from Georgia

  BAT SHIT CRAZY

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's you're fault, even though I never called

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  (404): Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it." (404): BAT SHIT CRAZY (404): It's you're fault, even though I never called http://tfl.nu/893x
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (324): View more from

  Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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  (324): Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first. http://tfl.nu/wosq
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (208)

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