4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.