I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize