Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
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Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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