Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
