my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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