i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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