Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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