Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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