She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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