Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We had sex on a dog bed..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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