Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Couch. On fire.
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