Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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