trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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