I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
