youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
