D3 body, D1 cock
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
