Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
