I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
