I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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