Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize