Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize