I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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