I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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