I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
