dude i'm inner monologue high
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Randomize