I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
