Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
