remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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