How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
