His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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