I bet he comes in French.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
