nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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