Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
