I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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Do I have a choice?
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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