you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just cropdusted the office
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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