We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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