Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
