can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
